Reframing Comfort Zone

Yesterday, I fell in love with The Backwards Law, which I watched on one of my favorite Youtube channels: Einzelgänger.

The Backwards Law is so appealing to me, not that I hate working on my dreams and the everyday responsibilities that I must take sooner or later.

After grasping this unique law one step at a time, my head started going places. I questioned myself, “How in the world we can achieve something that we want SO BAD without even chasing it SO BAD?”. I started getting a bit puzzled about the things I awfully desire with a little help from this cool law, hoping that I can have them in a no-brainer way.

As far as I concern, knowing that The Backwards Law deals with resistance to insanely chasing anything we want as it only brings something that is the opposite of which, I don’t even know what to expect anymore with my life. (I don’t mean to sound depressive. I mean it in a very neutral, objective way with a context). It’s like, that’s so paradoxical to me! I was like, “Oh if I do X to avoid Y, it’s something that I do to achieve Y? and so if I do Y because I want Y, it will undoubtedly turn out as X?”. O Alan Watts…, wish I could talk with you!

I know, this notion means deeper than that. Although my comprehension of this idea is somewhat still shallow, I can tell that this is the right fit to be aligned with the idea of gratitude. It works well to keep my head sane and grounded when my ego starts irrationally pushes me to move heaven and earth for my desire which god only knows might be prone to negative vibrations attracting negative qualities like greed, lust, harm, etc. It works both as a self-control tool and the first aid for inevitable expectations, you know?

The Backwards Law taught me a lot about living my life more intentionally. As I started implementing this value into my life, I started to feel courage growing inside my soul to just…live and try (hopefully my best) and simply let go of any expectations regarding the outcome. In this way, it leads me to also building a wholesome relationship with my fear and anxiety. Speaking of fear and anxiety, it rings true to me that The Backwards Law also challenges me to come up with a different vantage point of my comfort zone.

All my life, I’ve heard so many people talk about the urgency of getting out of our comfort zone for our best. The faster, the better. This jargon feels like being constructed to live under my skin (and maybe yours too). However, I asked myself in the humblest way whether I really bought myself into this idea that I must escape from my comfort zone instead of…expand and embrace it. Cause last time I checked, that motivational quote about comfort zone I found on the internet with an image of fish jumping out of an aquarium at the back of the quote only worsen the context. Why?

1. Most of these comfort zone quotes are represented by goldfish. The truth is, there is plenty of fish in the sea! literally and figuratively! which allows more amount of relativeness and scales to come up to the surface in terms of defining what is comfortable and what is not.
2. Every fish has their own nature. Let’s say, my betta fish, for instance. They still grow in the most beautiful way in a very solitary way. And you know what? I bet the idea of getting out of their comfort zone is when they are being forced by me to fight against other betta fish in a betta fish competition. And I don’t want to do it not that I want to protect their precious fins from any harm. I simply don’t want to gain money from hurting and utilizing living creatures.

Okayyyyy, stop this fish talk cause it’s getting fishy! *ba dum tssss*

I’d like to bring another different perspective to the table: To expand my comfort zone instead of fighting it, with a help of The Backwards Law. Surprise, surprise, I tested this premise with my personal experience when I was about to get my second dose of vaccine somewhere in City J. This was the second time of me being in the same place to do the same procedure in order to experience the same goal: being vaccinated. Although everything is pretty much the same, the end goal still needs some struggle due to the elements of fear and anxiety for some people including me.

Supposedly, the idea of getting out of comfort zone can be symbolized as getting vaccinated since it represents the courage to face the hurt of injection which is way less comfortable than not being vaccinated at all! (Hey, let’s get vaccinated! hahah). However, at this time I did not really think about how hurt it was going to be that much compared to the last one as I expanded this experience by doing it twice. This second experience expanded the idea of my comfort zone because it felt familiar to me, which made it easier than the first time to adjust myself with the place, the procedure, the people, the rooms, and so on— in other words, it was comfortable!

I did not freak out about the unpleasant sensation that I had to face. I knew that the more I told myself not to think about it, the more it bugged me. Just like what The Backwards Law is all about. Now that I was getting comfortable sitting on a chair while waiting for my number to be called out, I realized that my comfort zone expanded and I was okay to experience the second injection for my own good. I set my mind intentionally that I was already here and I just let go of the fact that it was going to get a little hurt and finally it helped me to be way calmer and mindful than before in dealing with this situation. And that’s all! See, my point is that from this little personal experience, I can say that every first time is always been the hardest for me, but that does not put aside the fact that everything would also be better if I am being gentle with myself, not keeping my eyes on the prize 24/7.

At the end of the day.. I have proved to myself that I could get the best of both worlds — to get out of one of my comfort zones by expanding it as well as witnessing the wonder of The Backwards Law at the same time! Most importantly, I have challenged myself to reframe the banal idea of comfort zone :)

At last..

To whoever reading this and finally made it until this very last sentence, I hope that you can thrive well at your own pace and treat your comfort zone as a supportive bestie for your growth ❤